By Neil Hogan
In this report I will look at two science fiction texts that have informed my choice of specialisations this year. The script Doctor Who: Heaven Sent by Steven Moffat for Screen, and the short story Innocuous but Lethal by Mike Adamson for Fiction. The style of writing used by these writers has helped me to clarify what I need to do to improve.
One day I would like to write a worthy script for Doctor Who, but without knowing where to start, I haven’t. I have been reading Doctor Who scripts to see if there is a style or structure that I could emulate that would get my submission noticed among the thousands they receive each year. However, I have yet to find that unique feature that they have in common. When Doctor Who: Heaven Sent, by Steven Moffat, was screened it seemed to be a story far above the ones that had come before it. So good, in fact, it received nominations for both a Hugo (blogtorwho.com) and an Emmy (goldderby.com) – the first time ever for a Doctor Who episode to be nominated for both. I decided that this must be the one to be pulled apart and put back together again to figure out what makes it tick, like I used to do to old radios when I was a kid.
The story revolves around the main character known as The Doctor who is trapped within a repetitive copy-universe puzzle, chased by a dangerous assailant, trying to solve the mystery in time before the creature kills him. When killed, he is resurrected without the memory of his previous actions, though he can sometimes leave clues for his future self to find. The fascinating thing about the script compared to what we see on screen is that, in text form it does not seem to possess the power that the visual version has. Even my rough summary suggests it is just a computer game story. But on screen, it is much more. This got me thinking about how much is needed in a script to get the result on screen. If a few words and a tiny description lead to stupendous sets, awe inspiring acting, and stunning special effects, then I want to learn more about the initial points of creation.
To work out the secret, I chose sections and rewrote them, setting them in a contemporary world with a different theme and ending, then acted them out. (Tutor Who: Heaven Cent – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqolM1KJjEU ). When I compared my version to the original, I understood what was lacking. Word economy. Succinctness. Advanced vocabulary. The way I write is too simplistic in comparison to the way Moffat writes. Here is an example – “The bloodied hand slams the lever and the hunched figure falls, crashing to the floor.” (Moffat, 2015). In comparison, my first draft had, “The hand is holding a metal pen and it shakes, as though the character holding it is drunk. The hand and pen then collapse onto the bed. Then we see the main character lying on the bed, passing out, dropping a bottle of wine.” (Hogan, 2017). Doing the Creative Writing Degree at RMIT, with a specialization in Screen Writing, would enable me to manifest scripts with more economy, eliminating the unnecessary.
I chose Fiction for my second specialization as I had reached a plateau in my writing abilities and believed that I could not come up with a compelling story for a Doctor Who script without additional learning. My own semiprozine Alien Dimensions led me to this decision through a story submitted for consideration called Innocuous but Lethal by Mike Adamson. I was particularly impressed with the succinctness of the writing. As noted above, my own writing tends to be a bit slower, and less ‘punchy,’ which isn’t ideal for space opera. Innocuous but Lethal was everything my short stories weren’t.
Innocuous but Lethal is a short story set on an alien world where new soldiers are sent to protect a mine. The focus of the story is on the deadly creatures that hide in the forests surrounding the mine, and how the soldiers encounter them and eventually escape. Here is an example line from the story where a character describes what the tiny alien blobs will do to you if you bump into one. “Once the toxins have done their job, pressurized vessels under the integument drive the hyphae about 5mm into the prey, and they begin to release an incredibly powerful suite of proteolytic enzymes that, literally, dissolve the living tissue.” (Adamson, 2018). So much packed into one sentence. Logical science, visceral images. It encouraged me to investigate writing in a more efficient and powerful way. Continuing to focus on Fiction will help me move to a more literary style, which will inform not only the structure of my writing, but also enable me to come up with a creative and compelling script for Doctor Who.
Regarding the theme, both Doctor Who: Heaven Sent and Innocuous but Lethal, while different in form, have quite similar themes of a character or characters fighting an unseen and unstoppable enemy. Both are science fiction, set in the far future, and both seem like they might be part of a much bigger picture. More importantly, both contain sentences packed with information, making them seem bolder and more expansive than would be expected by the amount of words used to create them.
In conclusion, I chose the Screen Writing specialization to learn to write scripts with better word economy, thanks to the lessons learnt from Doctor Who: Heaven Sent, and I chose the Fiction writing specialization as it will also enable me to update my writing skills and make my sentences more punchy, thanks to the lessons I learnt from Innocuous but Lethal. I believe that these two courses together will enable me to reach my goal of being able to write a script for Doctor Who worthy of submission.
References:
Adamson, M., 2018. Innocuous but Lethal. In: N. Hogan, ed., Alien Dimensions Science Fiction Short Stories Anthology Series #16. Melbourne: Maldek House, pp.29-37.
Blogtor Who. 2016. US: 2016 Hugo Awards Announced Tonight – Doctor Who’s Heaven Sent Nominated – Blogtor Who. [online] Available at: <https://www.blogtorwho.com/us-2016-hugo-awards-announced-tonight-doctor-whos-heaven-sent-nominated/> [Accessed 20 March 2020].
Hogan, N., 2017. Tutor Who: Heaven Cent. Available at: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqolM1KJjEU> [Accessed 20 March 2020].
Moffat, S., 2015. Doctor Who: Heaven Sent. London: BBC. [online] Available at: <http://downloads.bbc.co.uk/writersroom/scripts/DW9-EP11-Heaven-Sent.pdf> [Accessed 20 March 2020].
Montgomery, D., 2016. Emmy Spotlight: Peter Capaldi (‘Doctor Who’) Is ‘Heaven Sent’ – So Vote For Him. [online] GoldDerby. Available at: <https://www.goldderby.com/article/2016/peter-capaldi-doctor-who-steven-moffat-emmy-awards-news-864207913/> [Accessed 20 March 2020].